Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Downs
So my life went from having a few ups to being a big depression. Not only have I lost a friend in the guy i used to love but I lso have serious family problems and it's getting really hard to handle. I don't know what to do. Now I feel alone cause my family doesn't even want to talk about our problems and I can't just stay with a friend because then I feel like I'm abandoning my family and running away from the problems, but I am so lost in life and I just feel so sad lately. I don't know wht to do. My family is falling apart and I feel like it's all my fault.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Ups and Downs
Well it's been a long time since I wrote a post for my blog. I'm a bit different now because I prefer writing in complete proper gramar and a whole lot has been going on in my life. I guess in a way I've finally grown up bit. Lately I've been thinking about how life hs lot of ups and downs. How it's the moments we make that are important not what everyone else thinks of us or what we've done. We can't let other people define us we must define ourselves and it is not always about making an impression on the world it is about making an impression on those you care about/ It doesn't matter if you make an impression on hundreds or thousands of people. Even if you just make that one impression on just one person. Now I've started aiming for making tht one impression because I have been going through family problems, trying to find a job, and finally getting past telling someone I love them.
So I know everyone goes through family troubles, but I doubt everyone has to deal with both their older sisters living back in their parents house along with two of my oldest sisters kids, four cats, a rabbit, and a overly energetic and loving dog. In a house that fits four people and a couple animals. Now I know what most people think, how sad a 19 nearly 20 year old girl living with her parents and trust me I am trying to move out and go to college but problem is finding a job and getting all my paperwork through for school. Then again I can't let my problems at home stop me from moving on in my life.
I've been working on my writing a lot and trying to update my stories on deviantart.com but I have had such a writers block that everytime I write something down I feel like it doesn't fit right to the rest of my story or it looks like it should be it's own side story. It's getting so frustrating, but I just can't give up I have been working o some of my stories for years, and I think I've been working on some of them for years and I been stuck on one for over a year. Though hopefully since Itried to remove a really big distraction from my life. Sort of. His name's Richard and I have been in love with him for years, but I've always known he's out of reach for me. I mean he's this amazing guy, he has a mean side but heck if he didn't I'd think he was creepy. He's been my friend for i believe four years now but kind of lost trck of time cause I wasn't focused on it. I was focused on him so time was kinda :P to me. He's been one of my best friends and he knew I had crush on him but I was never able to confess to him, but then today I realised I was gonna go crazy if I didn't tell him. Thus today I told him, but now I am worried I am going to lose one of my best friends but heck if this ruins our friendship then I guess we weren't meant to be friends. Though I really really really hope we get to
I also started watching a new anime. It's called "say I love you" and it is so cute I have like fallen in love with it. Ironic ain't it. I love watching it, but it's about oh here let me just paste the description in
"From Karma Falls Scanslations: Mei Tachibana has spent her 16 years without making either boyfriend or friends. One day, she injures a popular boy in school, Yamato Kurosawa, because of a misunderstanding but for some reason it seems that he takes a liking to her and one-sidedly claims that they’re friends. Furthermore, he not only protects Mei from a stalker, he does it with a kiss…?!!"
Here I am just admitting to the guy I love that I love him and now I m addictted to a manga and anime where the girl is being stalked man I would have loved it to go that way but oh well life ain't anime or manga (which sucks).
Well that's it for this post
So I know everyone goes through family troubles, but I doubt everyone has to deal with both their older sisters living back in their parents house along with two of my oldest sisters kids, four cats, a rabbit, and a overly energetic and loving dog. In a house that fits four people and a couple animals. Now I know what most people think, how sad a 19 nearly 20 year old girl living with her parents and trust me I am trying to move out and go to college but problem is finding a job and getting all my paperwork through for school. Then again I can't let my problems at home stop me from moving on in my life.
I've been working on my writing a lot and trying to update my stories on deviantart.com but I have had such a writers block that everytime I write something down I feel like it doesn't fit right to the rest of my story or it looks like it should be it's own side story. It's getting so frustrating, but I just can't give up I have been working o some of my stories for years, and I think I've been working on some of them for years and I been stuck on one for over a year. Though hopefully since Itried to remove a really big distraction from my life. Sort of. His name's Richard and I have been in love with him for years, but I've always known he's out of reach for me. I mean he's this amazing guy, he has a mean side but heck if he didn't I'd think he was creepy. He's been my friend for i believe four years now but kind of lost trck of time cause I wasn't focused on it. I was focused on him so time was kinda :P to me. He's been one of my best friends and he knew I had crush on him but I was never able to confess to him, but then today I realised I was gonna go crazy if I didn't tell him. Thus today I told him, but now I am worried I am going to lose one of my best friends but heck if this ruins our friendship then I guess we weren't meant to be friends. Though I really really really hope we get to
I also started watching a new anime. It's called "say I love you" and it is so cute I have like fallen in love with it. Ironic ain't it. I love watching it, but it's about oh here let me just paste the description in
"From Karma Falls Scanslations: Mei Tachibana has spent her 16 years without making either boyfriend or friends. One day, she injures a popular boy in school, Yamato Kurosawa, because of a misunderstanding but for some reason it seems that he takes a liking to her and one-sidedly claims that they’re friends. Furthermore, he not only protects Mei from a stalker, he does it with a kiss…?!!"
Here I am just admitting to the guy I love that I love him and now I m addictted to a manga and anime where the girl is being stalked man I would have loved it to go that way but oh well life ain't anime or manga (which sucks).
Well that's it for this post
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