Love

Love is sometimes a tough thing to deal with because sometimes with every little mistake someone may make it can be a big hurt even if they didn't mean to make a mistake or hurt you. There's also not being able to control how much you love someone. Wanting them to spend every second with you. Wanting them to know how much you care and how much you don't ever want to see them go away. I currently feel like this and I know this is real for me, and it makes me so happy that I'm in love. Even when he or I make mistakes and end up hurt. But you know sometimes when he makes a mistake it's hard for me to let it go even though I can hear myself telling me to let it go because he's the one I want to spend my life with. Love screws me up so much. I used to be able to lock all my emotions away inside me and now everytime I see him they all just seem to want to explode and let him know every feeling I have. It's confusing for me but I know that he is someone I never want to let go of. I just wish he would think sometimes about what he says. Oh well I love the big fool and I ain't letting him go.

Still waiting

So my parents had a trip this weekend and someone at church asked my middle sister when I was gonna get married. That made my mother say some things. Starting with we havn't been together long enough to get married, and it made dad all nervous about Jonathan taking the four of us out to lunch. So no surprises were sprung. So now we're gonna wait a little bit longer to tell em and I temporarily have to remove this link from facebook so that neither of my parents will look at it. So just gonna have to wait a little bit longer till we can tell them the truth.

Making Up For It

So my boy friend absolutely pissed me off yesterday and made me cry a lot, but I'm not going into the details on that, but I will tell ya how he's making up for it. Tomorrow we are having a date and going to spend the day together. We had already planned to go look at an apartment though we are still trying to figure out where it is and how to get there. He wants to take me to get a promise ring to show me how much he loves me and that he's sorry for his mistake, after that since we're not going to see the place till four thirty. We are going to have our date. Have a nice dinner and then go see a movie. Then after that I call for someone to come pick us up and take us back to my house for some time together and for he and I to finish watching Cabin in the Woods. Then probably a freeze pop each and off to sleep. Till the next morning when he's gonna stay at the house for a bit cause he's taking me and my parents out to dinner at Applebee's. Yummy. Though that one is going to be extremely interesting cause there's a secret fact I will tell you about on another day.


Till the next time anyone who reads these.

Updates

So today I filled with updates for my deviantart account Arkanan13. I love to write. I'm not to good at drawings but I am working on a little comic. I have really missed writing my stories. I actually thought of it as a career once, but I never thought I was good enough for it. I do have a friend who is a writer though she has I believe it is currently three published books. Her name is Emily Rose Ludwick and she is really cool. Today is also filled with helping my dad he is moving everything out of his little office room so that there is space enough for my nephew to have his very own bedroom.

And now for random life lesson. Sometimes we hurt ourselves trying to protect the ones we love and we don't realize we are truly hurting them.

Random

So I just wanted to post a few random geek facts this morning. I figure since no one is asking any questions thus far.

Fact # 1:    John Rhys-Davies plays two roles in the Lord of the Rings films: Gimli and the voice of Treebeard.

Fact # 2: Dante Basco the voice actor of Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender (and should have played him in the last airbender movie. that way it wouldn't have sucked so much.) also voiced Jake Long from American Dragon: Jake Long, A Goofy Movie (extra voice), was Rufio from Hook, played Lucas on the tv series Raven, Kevin from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Marco from Moesha, Prince Hong from Sinbad: The Battle of Dark Knights, voiced Quoc Wong from the Proud Family, Fukushima from Kim Possible, was in an episode of Lilo and Stitch: the series as Jake Long, voiced Zuko in Avatar: The Last Airbender- Burning Earth (video game. I have it and the first game), Zuko in Avatar: The Last Airbender (video game), Zuko in Avatar: The Last Airbender- Into the Inferno (video game. It's the one I still need), he also voiced the Cocoon Inhabitants in Final Fantasy XIII (English version), and many other great roles these are just a few of my favorites. He was born August 29, 1975 and still acts to this day.

Fact # 3: I am a member of over 30 Lord of the Rings fan clubs many of them are fan clubs for my favorite characters.

Excitement

So a lot of stuff is going on in my life and I know I keep missing my updates and sorry bout that for anyone who actually reads my blog. Now I will tell you some of my excitement but some I can not yet tell because there's a link to my blog on facebook and I don't want everyone knowing just yet. My boyfriend and I are doing so wonderfully. I miss him everytime I'm apart from him, and so hopefully I won't have to be apart from him much longer. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He has become a huge part of my life already. Oh also, I might be getting a job. YAY! The woman who interviewed me said she would give me a call next week. I'm looking for a new place to live as I write. I'm planning my future, I'm also planning a big event with the current help of a few of my besties and soon hopefully help from my family. So also I'm working on getting my drivers license and a car. My friend Natashia is my major help planning this big event and she also is making a special quilt just for me and my boyfriend. Of everyone who knows they are all super excited. I've gotten my life kind of back on track and I'm trying harder to get closer to God and be a good person. I'm hoping to go into the guard next summer because if I get this job I need to give it time before I go join the military cause I need to save up. Everything is just going so wonderfully except for family issues :'( but right now I really can't talk about em cause it's hard to think about.

On another note I heard superman and iron man 3 were really good. Though I have not had the chance to go see them myself, but I did see white house down and I got to say it was a pretty awesome movie. I have never seen a president kick so much butt. I plan on going to see The Wolverine with my mother who is a big kid she says. I'm also looking forward to the next Thor movie. So many great movies have been coming out lately. I want to see so many of em but I have no money :(. Oh well I'll see em eventually.
So since I've missed my geeky facts and life lessons quite a lot lately I would like whoever actually reads this to give me any question they would like to ask. Topic does not matter to me, and I would like to try and answer them. No limit on how many questions you can ask. Hope to get a few questions from someone.

Back Home

Okay so my first time living on my own went horribly horribly south. Not only could I barely get online to keep my blog updated but I had the room mate from hell. I mean seriously she was just awful the last straw that made me leave is when she yelled at me saying she was gonna smack me in the face, took my house key, and told me that my boyfriend couldn't come visit me at all anymore. She would try and drag me with her to work all day which could have gotten her fired, told everyone that she did all the house work and took care of everything at the house when truth is I did all the cleaning, the dishes, sweeping, windows, bathroom, and more, job applications everyday trying to get my own job, when I decided to go out and enjoy myself she would flip out, she didn't like me hanging out with any other friends or my own boyfriend, when I tried to spend time with my family or go home for a weekend she started this huge argument saying that she needed help taking care of the house when I already did that anyways, didn't like me going to church, or even going to job interviews, she was the most controlling room mate ever, she would spend a hundred bucks on drinking while she's underage and wouldn't pay the land lord, then yell at me for not helping support the house when I wasn't able to get a job, and I would have to go to my mom for basic needs likes toilet paper or tooth paste, ect.. There was a whole lot of problems like that with her including her having a bunch of perverted drunk guys over all the time at all hours of the day. Which made me extremely uncomfortable exspecialy when they would hit on me and try to get all touchy feely with me, and she knew how it made me feel but still had them over and slept with almost all of 'em.
    I also left the house because one of the people upstairs sexually assaulted me and the land lord got upset because I got a protection order against him even though he told me go ahead and get it, but you know what they can get over it and the sex offender can go back to living in that hell house. Oh yea my room mate would also freaking snort pills, and then tell me to babysit my three year old nephew at the house. Oh HELL NO! I am not bringing any of my young family near her.
    Now she has been bugging myself, home, and my mother's phone trying to cuss me out and yell at me cause I packed up all my stuff and within two car loads got it all out the house and left a note on why I left. Then she wants to tell me I owe her money for staying there when no I don't because she invited me to live with her knowing I didn't have a job at the time, and we had no written or verbal agreement, so her threatening to call the cops on me doesn't scare me one bit because I did no crime what so ever. But I will say it took a lot of effort for me not to go off on her that last night I was there and she was threatening me I was ready to blow up but I knew that it wouldn't matter cause I would be gone the next day. She also wants to try and blame my boyfriend for the vandalism that happened when some of those guys she invited over in the middle of the night came back and broke into the house and tore up her stuff. She got what she deserved for screwing 'em all.
       But on a happy note I have a wonderful new boyfriend who tries his hardest to do everything to make me happy, and is always there for me when I need him. The night I was sexually harassed he jumped into his car and raced over to try and protect me. Though by the time he got there the cops had come and arrested the guy though they were still there talking to me and my ex room mate and one of the guys she sleeps with and supposedly calls her bf. Yea I'd like to see how he would react if he knew she was screwing every guy that came around. I am just so happy to be home though, and to have a wonderful guy who treats me right and even started coming to church with me. to be in a safe environment again is just great. Hopefully I'll soon have a job cause my church family is trying to help me find a job and giving me recommendations to a bunch of places. I won't be on food stamps much longer though since I'm not twenty two and living at home again temporarily, but it'll be ok cause i'll reapply for them once I find a place to stay, but just back home for now and it is nice. For now with everything that is going on to catch anyone who reads this back up on my life and all my geekyness I will most likely be posting either every day or every other day. My post tomorrow will have more geekyness but for today I just needed a way to vent, but here's a life lesson. Just because you can be friends or even so called best friends with someone on a day to day basis doesn't always mean you can live with them cause they could have a whole other side to them and just turn out to be a horrible room mate. So when moving in with someone do a kind of trial time to see how things are because if you just move straight in you could end up in a bad situation like I did, so please be careful and make sure you know someone completely first. That's all for today have a blessed day and I'll post tomorrow. :)